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January 21, 2011 / Lauren

Full size my butt.

I would estimate that my husband, Eric, is 3-4 inches taller than the average male, and I’m probably 3-4 inches taller than the average lady. However, we currently sleep on a full size bed, which is truly anything but “full size”. Our feet hang off the edge of the bed. We toss, turn, and teeter on our respective edges of the mattress; limbs flail and flop and annoy.

For the purpose of the following illustration, I have selected a Jacob Black doll to depict Eric, because, much like the Twilight character, Eric is a physically fit card-carrying Native American with an affinity for jorts. (I am pleased to report that I have successfully persuaded him to part with the jorts.) I chose a koala to represent myself in this case because I am cute and I only eat eucalyptus leaves I usually have to curl up in a ball in order to stay in the bed. Typically, this is how we sleep:

Is it just me or does Jacob/Eric's tattoo look like the Starbucks logo? That's serious brand loyalty. TRENTA FO' LYFE.

Please note that my butt is hanging off the bed, his feet are hanging off the bed, and together with the stack of pillows we form what I like to call The Percent Sign of Discomfort.

See what I mean? This is how we have been living for three and a half years. I am excited to announce that we will soon (March?) be upgrading to a queen size bed! This is how we will sleep in our new bed for grown ups:

Please note that I have changed from a koala to a Power Ranger. Morphing is what we Rangers do, guys.

The only difference being that I generally only sleep with my ray gun at my side on Tuesday nights.

(I apologize to both of my subscribers for my extended absence. You see, I have been extremely busy watching dozens of National Geographic documentaries on Netflix looking for a job. The good news? I may have found a fantastic one. Fingers crossed!)



Leave a Comment
  1. K Bone 17 / Jan 25 2011 6:55 pm

    Fingers crossed for a fantastic job near to the bone!! Nothing would make me happier! Well, nothing would make me happier than this entry. I remember you talking about The Percent Sign of Discomfort and that illustration helped clear it up for me, thanks. Love you and glad to see you blogging again 😉

  2. Danielle LeGrange / Apr 9 2011 8:22 am

    It’s morphin time!

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