I don’t even want to think about what this says about me as a person, but I am a connoisseur of elastic waistband pants. I have several pairs. Each evening when I get home from work, I immediately put on sweatpants. My husband does this too. We refuse to wear real pants unless we absolutely have to. Clearly, we are the epitome of style, grace, and class.
This pair is my most recent acquisition:
These pants, I tell ya, they are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Here’s why:
1) They are long enough. This is rare. (They also come in petite if you’re a shawty.)
2) The insides are fuzzy and soft like a baby kitten taking a nap in the sunlight.
3) They are now five bucks! The price has been rolled back. By a whistling smiley face.
4) The crotch does not hang too low. It seems some women’s sweatpants have a low crotch, which I don’t like because I feel like it makes me look like I have a wiener.
If you know me, you know I’m a picky mofo. So a positive review on clothing is rare and really means something. It’s just that I haven’t experienced this level of comfort, excitement, and happiness since the last time I drank Surge.
I am going to buy at least two more pairs. Don’t judge. These are the best pair of anything since Tia and Tamara Mowry.
“I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.” -George Louis Costanza